Partha's Blog

Little Johnny in Class

parthans — Tue, 19 Jul 2011 07:56:40 +0000

Little Johnny Does Different Maths
Little Johnny was busy doing his homework. As his mother approached she heard:
"One and one, the son-of-a-bitch is two."
"Two and two, the son-of-a-bitch is four."
"Three and three… "
His mother interrupted, asking where he had learned this way of doing math. Little Johnny remarked that his teacher Ms. Margo taught him. His mother was rather upset and told him to stop the homework.
The next day she stormed into Little Johnny's classroom and confronted Ms. Margo. Little Johnny's mother told Ms. Margo about Little Johnny's different way of doing math, and his claims that Ms. Margo taught it that way to the class. The teacher was flabbergasted. She said that she couldn't understand why Little Johnny had said what he did.
Then suddenly, Ms Margo exclaimed, "Oh, I know, here in school we say, one and one, the sum-of-which is two."
****

Peeping Johnny
A new teacher was giving an assignment to her class one day. It was a large assignment so she started writing high up on the chalkboard. Suddenly there was a giggle from one of the male students.
She quickly turned and asked, "What's so funny Pat?"
"Well teacher, I just saw one of your garters."
"Get out of my classroom," she yells, "I don't want to see you for three days."
The teacher turns back to the chalkboard. Realizing she had forgotten to title the assignment; she reaches to the very top of the chalkboard. Suddenly there is an even louder giggle from another male student.
She quickly turns and asks, "What's so funny, Billy?"
"Well teacher, I just saw both of your garters."
Again she yells, "Get out of my classroom!" This time the punishment is more severe, "I don't want to see you for three weeks."
Embarrassed, she drops the eraser when she turns around, so she bends over to pick it up. This time there is an all out belly laugh from another male student. She quickly turns to see Little Johnny leaving the classroom.
"Where do you think you are going?" she asks.
"Well teacher, from what I just saw, my school days are over."

Pet Peeves: What Dogs hate about humans

parthans — Tue, 19 Jul 2011 07:52:43 +0000

'1' Blaming your farts on me….. not funny… not funny at all !!!
———————————————-
'2' Yelling at me for barking. I'M A FRIGGIN' DOG
————————————————–
'3' Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff out. Exactly whose walk is this anyway?
————————————————–
'4' Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose. Stop it!
——————————— —————–
'5 ' The sleight of hand, fake fetch throw. You fooled a dog! Whoooo Hoooooooo what a proud moment for the top of the food chain.
————————————————–
' 6 ' Taking me to the vet for 'the big snip', then acting surprised when I freak out every time we go back!
——————————— —————–
' 7’ Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your guests. Sorry, but I haven't quite mastered that handshake thing yet .
————————————————–
' 8 ' Dog sweaters. Hello ??? Haven't you noticed the fur?
————————————————–
' 9 ' How you act disgusted when I lick myself. Look, we both know the truth. You're just jealous.
————————————————–
Now lay off me on some of these things. We both know who's boss here! You don't see me picking up your poop do you?

EVERY DOG HAS HIS DAY.

Magnus setting up the small camera on the big tripod for the video podcast!!

parthans — Mon, 11 Jul 2011 08:50:24 +0000

Taken at CPI Consumer Tech

This is a series of jokes that end with the punch line “And that’s when the fight started…”… Enjoy!

parthans — Tue, 05 Jul 2011 05:25:52 +0000

One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a New Year gift…

The next year, I didn't buy her a gift.
When she asked me why, I replied,
"Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"

And that's how the fight started…
______________________________

My wife and I were watching "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire" while we were in bed.
I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have Sex?"
"No," she answered. I then said,
"Is that your final answer?"
She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, "Yes."
So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."

And that's when the fight started…
______________________________

I took my wife to a restaurant.
The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.
"I'll have the rump steak, rare, please."
He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"
"Nah, she can order for herself."

And that's when the fight started…
______________________________

My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school reunion, and she
kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table.
I asked her, "Do you know him?"
"Yes", she sighed,
"He's my old boyfriend… I understand he took to drinking right after we
split up those many years ago, and I hear he hasn't been sober since."
"My God!" I said, "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?"

And then the fight started…
______________________________

When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me
that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had something else to take
care of first, the shed, the boat, making beer… Always something more
important to me. Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point.
When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily
snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. I watched silently for
a short time and then went into the house. I was gone only a minute, and
when I came out again I handed her a toothbrush. I said, "When you finish
cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway."

The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.
______________________________

My wife sat down next to me as I was flipping channels.
She asked, "What's on TV?"
I said, "Dust."

And then the fight started…
______________________________

Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, and
slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the boat up to the van, and
proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I
pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the
weather would be bad all day. I went back into the house, quietly
undressed, and slipped back into bed.. I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a
different anticipation, and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible."
My loving wife of 5 years replied, "And, can you believe my stupid husband
is out fishing in that?"

And that's how the fight started…
______________________________

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
She said, "I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds."
I bought her a bathroom scale.

And then the fight started…
______________________________

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security.
The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's License to verify my age.
I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home.
I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.
The woman said, "Unbutton your shirt."
So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.
She said, "That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me" and she
processed my Social Security application..
When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office…
She said, "You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too."

And then the fight started…

Hello people. Allow me to introduce you to my happy family – Theres Partha, Dhanashree, and our son YOJIT !!!!

parthans — Tue, 28 Jun 2011 13:44:31 +0000

My new watch. My first indulgence in 8 months!!!!

parthans — Wed, 15 Jun 2011 18:34:10 +0000

London what?? Boulevard?

parthans — Fri, 10 Jun 2011 23:49:43 +0000

I just returned from watching an intensely crazy movie. I don't mean this in the good sense at all. I mean – this is 2 hours of my life I will NOT get back in my life!!

The story – with all due respect to Ken Bruen – was absolute rubbish! Only Ray Winstone and Colin Farrell did any job of acting. Farrell's brit accent was iffy to say the least. I cant hold an accent long enough, but if paid to do it, I might hold it longer than he did . Keira Knightly was wasted! Sanjeev Bhaskar was a surprise – and was not funny.

The plot was very stringy, uninteresting and all over the place! It was difficult to follow especially when, if you yawn, you miss a possibly critical part of the movie and then *BAM* you lost track of what you were seeing! And I was yawning – so bored was I!

One minute Mr Farrell was saving a womans life, then he was in the mansion trying to be normal and then all of a sudden he was trying to eliminate the gang boss – see what I mean – it's confusing!

Anyway – the money is gone, the time is gone, and I will not recommend this movie to anyone who asks me. I would probably go watch Source Code again instead!

*/rant* (cant use HTML parenthesis – my blog will explode – LOL)

Good Night!

Maybe Starbucks should change their logo!!!

parthans — Fri, 10 Jun 2011 19:16:05 +0000

Taken at Starbucks @ Mercato

What is a Deadlock?

parthans — Tue, 07 Jun 2011 08:59:11 +0000

From	To	Message
Boss	Secretary	For a week we will go abroad, so make arrangement.
Secretary	Husband	For a week my boss and I will be going abroad, you look after yourself.
Husband	Secret lover	My wife is going abroad for a week, so let’s spend the week together.
Secret lover	Small boy (whom she is giving private tuition)	I have work for a week, so you need not come for class.
Small boy	Grand-father	Grandpa, for a week I don't have class 'coz my teacher is busy. Let’s spend the week together.
Grandpa ( The Boss )	Secretary	This week I am spending my time with my grandson. We cannot attend that meeting.
Secretary	Husband	This week my boss has some work, we cancelled our trip.
Husband	Secret lover	We cannot spend this week together; my wife has cancelled her trip.
Secret lover	Small boy	This week we will have class as usual.
Small boy	Grandfather	Grandpa, my teacher said this week I have to attend class. Sorry I can't give you company.
Grandfather ( The Boss )	Secretary	Don't worry this week we will attend that meeting, so make arrangement.

This is called a Deadlock!!!

Creeping on @aabo0 ‘s turf

parthans — Mon, 06 Jun 2011 16:13:04 +0000

Thanks,
Partha Srinivasan
@parthans on twitter

Sent from my iPhone